I was talking to one of my friends recently and she asked me how I was doing. I shared with her that I was feeling extraordinarily well and have been for weeks. I also shared that I was starting to feel guilty about telling people how great I was doing.
This is what’s been fun and sometimes challenging to share with people: Since the end of December, I’ve been feeling amazingly great – and I mean super-duper fantastic. I’m experiencing deep peace inside. More internal and external freedom, copious amounts of joy, contentment that I’ve not felt before, courage to dream and try new things.
(There are several reasons for what I’m feeling and they can basically be summed up by saying that I’ve started doing things I enjoy rather than things that I feel obligated to do.)
This feeling was further deepened when I was driving home from an appointment a few weeks ago and remembered a Byron Katie quote and had a powerful awareness that struck me in every cell in my body. The thought was, “I have everything I need. I have every single, little thing that I need – and I always have.”
“When you realize that whatever you need is what you get, life becomes paradise.” -Byron Katie
Writing about it now, I’m not sure that I can truly convey the profoundness of this experience for me. Not only do I have everything I need financially, but emotionally and spiritually. And I always have.
Driving on the freeway that morning, I laughed for a long time in my car and experienced such a deep sense of gratitude.
And the only time I step out of that peace is when I think I don’t have enough or I need more than I have.
So when people ask me how I’m doing, I want to say that I’m feeling so freaking fantastic that sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs!
Not to say that I don’t have challenges – I do, because I’m human. I sometimes feel hurt and sad and angry. But I feel different when those challenges come up. I’m different, and I approach those situations differently.
And I’ve felt guilty saying that up until now. I’ve been feeling guilty sharing with people how amazing my life is – how amazing life is.
My silly irrational thoughts? They were:
- Maybe the person I’m talking to will feel bad because they’re not feeling as good as I am.
- Maybe the person I’m talking to is going through a hard time and doesn’t really want to hear some loony talking about inner peace.
- Maybe someone will think I’m full of shit.
Ha! What BS!
So here I am sharing my JOY!
I won’t hide my light because of or for others because of some false sense of loyalty or protection. In fact, Joy is contagious, so spread it around!
In what subtle ways are you dimming your light? Be still and let this question sit for awhile. What comes forward?