A colleague that I look up to as a mentor, named Alissa, said this to me recently. I had a project to complete over the weekend with a group of amazing people. It was a challenging weekend but really sacred work. After we completed the project, I expressed my insecurities about my performance to her.
She looked at me for a moment and with so much tenderness in her eyes she said, “You don’t know how wonderful you are.” I couldn’t help but take it into my heart.
I’ve actually heard this before. I lived with a woman who stepped in as a substitute mother when I needed one many years ago. Her name was Carrie and we were very close. In our long conversations she would often say to me, “You just don’t know how special you are, do you?”
That phrase has stayed with me all of these years, and I often think about what she said to me. It still warms my heart today thinking about her.
I think it’s taken me a while to really let her words sink in. I’ve been playing small for a long time because of an irrational lack of self-confidence. An unproven thought I was not good enough for (fill in the blank).
My experience this past weekend was an eye-opener. I received really positive prizing and feedback from the leaders of our project and still felt that I wanted to push their kind words away. It reminded me of this video that I saw on Upworthy. If you’re a woman, it’s worth watching and watch until the end. It’s pretty funny.
Today I declare this limiting pattern in my consciousness done with.
I forgive myself for ever judging that I wasn’t good enough for anything.
What would my life be like without this silly insecurity and without that old “not good enough” story? What wonderful things would I be able to accomplish knowing that I’m good enough for whatever it is I want to tackle?
I’m excited to find out.
So, dear reader, do you know – really know – how wonderful you are?